The Eve

And we stand here on this end
From the spark flickered flame
The sounds smash against your temple
And vibrate your vision
Keep you blurred and over exposed
Take in the sorrow of the dead and gone
Hail the new coming and the newborn
Your liver makes you pray to porcelain
Your instincts are saying this is the one
Go home stay here spin around some more
Up against the lights you can feel
And its never quite what it was before
Sitting at the table coaster salted wet
Looking here self fulfilled and distressed
From here I can’t see the rogue wave
But I can see someone reeling me in
A swing of her hips a lick of the lip
She smiles over her shoulder
This is the moment.

Crushing Math

The master sheet cancelled
The numbers its always about the numbers
Where are you what is your local
Phone and digital signature
The 1 the 0 the clock is a friend
The clock is a foe
Stab the heavens fabric into stars
Cut them up and sprinkle them on toast
I think the worst of it is over
But it has nothing to do with logic
I enjoy I me I me I me they them and this thing
Damnit this bullshit is silence being loud
The left overs of a mind tapped
Empty the News bag onto the table
Take the facts as they suit
Tailored for the fear for the sales
Take and put and place and reshuffle
I don’t know anything more or less
The dulling of the knife end left or lost
Digit by digit I am a passing gram
Series of numbers have become my life
I can’t escape the math
When life becomes quantified
And happiness is derived from it
That is when the truth will rise in you
Like a crushing tide
It will engulf the coast line
It will destroy the world you know
The numbers are marching towards you
With every single one sixtieth
How are you going to deal with it
When the crashing wave comes
And you don’t know algebra

Through The Pen

Slight soft glow rising
From the dark room I sit in
At my fingertips I place in rhythm
The first of the letters that roll
From my tired mind into the view finder
I think I’ve cracked the Richter scale unmatched
Sonic soothing the breath I inherited
Can you understand what is meant
I do not place, I do not give punctuation
My phrases and words are a payload of parachuted crates
I dare the unseen crawling between the spaces
You can not ever stop the words from forming
I have been taking it through the pen for decades
The energy funneling like a hurricane in a bottle
I reach down and uncap it
The destruction concealed by my chest
I am the tornado on its path
The drop that unleashes the tsunami
This comes to me anvil dropping metallic metronome
Sparks fly a perfect tango of air and steal
And still these words pull me through the pen
I can’t live without I can’t make anything out of them
I forget once they have cleared
And the quiet calm sets in
The rage of the storm brings back reality
The words I release have energy
I can’t create I can’t make I can only retransmit
And it doesn’t matter these objects are midnight shrapnel
The remains of an exploding intangible
And the worst of it is
The energy that passes through to the other side
Will wait for me to reclaim it
As I walk into the unknown
In this pitch black room
I can see clearly what is going on
My soul is trying to escape the heart that keeps it hear
The constant beating is getting annoying
Little by little the escape plan is working
The carving in the wall to the tunnel to freedom
Is getting through letter by letter
Delicately placed over many late night hours
Through this pen
The great escape, the great mouse chase, the worst things
Fishing for a moment closer to infinity

Travel

I recently was traveling. The whole week. I have realized that the airline industry is protected by the dumbest people they can find. Seriously guys. Do you really think that an xray scanner and making people get down to their socks is going to make you safer? Like a swab on your palms is going to save a plane from going down? Fucking morons.

And what dumb fuck is going to build a bomb and not wash his hands and walk right through the security gates? What moron thought this up? And for fucks sake you idiots! Everything you need to build a bomb can be bought 50 feet after the damn security check. The electronics store and that handy store that sells various cleaning things that can be put together to build a bomb are all right there.

So if you are trying to stop a “mastermind” you have failed miserably. Any kid with a chemistry book and a pop bottle can build a bomb that can bring down a plane. Fuck! None of these things are preventing another attack. And if there was going to be an attack it wouldn’t be the same thing you idiots. You don’t run the same play twice. They are onto the next play. And when that happens we will be reactionary in nature again and put in safeties and checks that are years over due.

When the fuck will people learn that nothing in this world is ever done proactively. Your government and law enforcement are not proactive in nature. When has a cop ever foiled a crime before it has happened? There is no way the guy that makes 10 bucks an hour to stand in front of radioactive cancer causing machines is going to foil the next massive attack on the airlines.

Who the fuck believes that shit? You are no safer now then you were yesterday. And you will never be safer. And your locks and your windows and your screenings and all that shit are there for your mental well being to give you the sense of security your feeble mind needs to get yourself into a metal tube and allow an underpaid possibly drunk guy hurl your body through the air at 600 some miles an hour.

These damn protocols we have in place now were precautions that were put in after the fact. And they had been pioneered and fought for by the airlines own people. See the airlines have an investigation group that is supposed to continually check for threats and for ways to get around security. They were doing that for years and this elite group found the holes and made every attempt they could the make changes and the airline industry lobbied and fought against hearing these people because they didn’t want to dip into profits to protect the people they serve.

Don’t give me that shit Delta or American or any of you fuckers saying you care about your customers. Fuck you! If you cared you wouldn’t cram us in like sardines and then charge us an extra $15, $25, or more to pick a fucking seat on a plane. I booked my flight and I couldn’t believe that after I picked my flight and I received a price the seat I wanted to sit in would cost me an extra 15 bucks. Seriously! You fuckers! You charge $25 extra for my bag and then cram me in the smallest most rickety plane you have with no room for my carry on and have the balls to charge me more money.
Then you charge me for a drink and a snack?

No wonder people go ballistic who work for the airline. The pilots get paid roughly $20,000 a year. Ya you heard that right. These guys have some of the worst salaries for what they do and are constantly exploited by the airlines. The CEO’s make huge money but not the guys who keep people alive. City bus drivers make more then these guys. I mean a plane is a bus with wings so maybe its inline, but what the fuck do I know?

So if you are going to travel and you feel safer because of these bullshit precautions then you are a sheep and deserve to be slaughtered. I see it as an annoyance and unnecessary. I also find it to be very political. Do you have any idea how many billions of dollars went to the handfull of businesses that rebuilt and installed the xray machines etc. Billions of our tax dollars going to friends of our political leaders. And at the same time these guys owned shares and received favors.

Protect America? Ya right? Protect your wallet. No industry does anything for the good of man kind. That is a certainty. It’s to expensive to do good for the sake of doing good. And forbid it above all if you wanted to do the right thing just for the sake of it. Doing the right thing or good needs to be profitable. If it is not. Then it will not be done.

Fucking airlines. Modern marvels and at the same time one of the worst industries. I had a fat bastard on one side of me and a bathroom on the other. This was not a pleasant flight. And I did not appreciate the video that told me they do all they can to make it a pleasant flight. No you fucking didn’t. And you lied to me. Fuck.

The Office Bathroom

First off why do they call it a bathroom? There is no bath in that room. But you would think there is. I don’t understand how the people I work with can be such slobs.

Why is the counter always wet? Let me back up. My cube is in the unfortunate spot of being directly accross from the restrooms and just adjacent to the break room.

I get the joys of listening about everyones day to day. And most of the time it is entertaining to no end. There is a woman here trying to get married in a few days. Her fiance sounds like a total D Bag and she is so excited about it.

Then there is the mom who is way to excited about her kids. She only talks about them and them only. And did you know that she is the best mom on the planet. Her kids are angels and her husband is a mythical god.

I enjoy listening to these conversations. It gives me insite into their lives. For example the mom who has the best kids, awesome husband, and is a perfect mom. This tells me that her children are assholes and stupid, her husband is a waste of life, and she doesn’t do shit all day.

You know how I know this? Because at work anytime anyone is saying anything in a voice that is loud clear and exxagerated for all to hear means they are broadcasting. And when you broadcast you always broadcast good information so that the others around you can say “wow that person is great”. The reason she is saying that is because she is in the process of getting her yearly appraisal. So the chance of a good review depends on what she broadcasts the weeks leading up to it.

What they should do is review poeple and give them an appraisal in the restroom. Why? I’ll explain. You can tell a lot about someone by the way they use the restroom. For example. One of my coworkers walked in at the same time I did. I went to the urinal, he went to the stall.

He sat down, I stood. By the time I finished he also finished. I didn’t hear any toilet paper roll noises. But I did hear shitting noises. I didn’t hear any toilet flushing. But I did hear shit plopping into the water.

It gets better, I didn’t see him actually washing his hands. He turned on the water, put two fingers under the water for 5 seconds turned off the water and walked the fuck right out.

At this point in time I knew he only added the water part to his otherwise pointless bathroom routine because I was at the sink washing my hands.

So what in the fuck! Lets break this down. Guy took a shit, he didn’t want to wash his hands so he figured if he didn’t wipe he wouldn’t have to. Ok good plan, but now you are walking around with shit bits in your ass all day and stinking up the place.

He didn’t flush cause he didn’t want to wash his hands and then when he saw me there he decided, “well I have to show that I washed my hands might as well run my fingers under water”. “He will get the idea”.

Fuck you! And this is the way people go through life. They shit and then say fuck it the next guy will deal with it. Oh wait better show the next guy that I didn’t mean to shit without shitting properly so eh her is an attempt,…. I am good right?

So I being the person I am went and looked in the stall. Yup a big fucking terd. I kicked the flush lever with my foot. Cause the guy who cleans our restrooms is a cool guy. We talk everyday about all sorts of things. I didn’t want him to find that there a day or two after it had been shit.

So this whole thing lets me know that my coworker who did that is a primate. They do not understand the concept of being human, polite, clean etc.. They have no regard for anyone around them. The world revolves around them. And in this case its true. The guy is a total prick. He thinks he is the owner of the world.

And another weird fucking thing I have noticed. There are like 8 different ways to pull up to a urinal and piss. Each one lets you know a little bit about someone.

The guy who sits on the toilet to piss. That is a guy who never had any guy friends or was raised by a single mother. Don’t question it, just know that this guy is not a guy. He is in fact a woman.

Next is the guy who pulls up to damn close to the urinal to the point where the side of the urinal is touching his hips. He drops his pants below his butt cheeks puts his hands on his hips and pisses. This guy also doesn’t wash his hands after hes done because he has never touched his penis. But he may or may not wash his penis after it certainly has touched the inside wall of the urinal and sprayed piss all over himself. I will never understand this one. This guy should be avoided at all costs. Guy is seriously fucked in the head. Why would you insert your junk into a urinal that may or may not get sterilized regularly?

Then there is the guy who stands to far back and looks straight down at his junk and holds it with one hand and the other in his pocket. WTF is this? Trying to look casual while pissing. WTF? And more then 1 foot from the urinal is to far you dumb ass. You piss all over the fucking place.

I think the one that disturbs me the most is the guy who lets his pants fall down to his ankles pulls up to the urinal and pisses. This is a grown man with the urinal etiquette of a child. This scares me. This is a guy who also never had a guy in his life tell him to stop doing that. And after foot away guy pisses on the floor do you really want your pants touching the floor?

So there you have it. The weird fucking people I work with. The strange fucked up bathroom situations. I don’t know why I have been unlucky enough to be in the restroom when these things occur but I have. I have learned a few things though. I Keep in mind that the majority of people don’t know how to wipe their asses properly. They don’t wash properly or at all and they have strange ways of relieving themselves. How can you not know how to do that? You fucking morons. You can’t wipe properly but when you are in a meeting you are telling someone else how to do their jobs. Ya fuck you!

Next time you see someone leaving a restroom I dare you to not think about what went on in there. You assume and especially women assume that men wash and men assume women wash also. But I guarantee that women are just as messed up.

I think there can be a lot said about bathroom use and situations. And next time you are on a date you should figure out what kind of bathroom person they are. Ask the guy if he sits or stands. Why the fuck not? Chances are you are going to see them naked anyway.

Ask the women if she hovers or stands on the rim or whatever the fuck else you can do. Does she spare a square or not? This might tell you a lot about the person.

Oh and never eat anything that anyone has made at home and brought into a work party. Cause by the looks of the office bathroom and the fact that most people don’t wash their hands after going. There is a good chance you will be eating food that was prepared by unwashed hands.

Released

I have unlocked the demon door
They have escaped from the shackles
I was only going to feed them this one last time
I watch them swoop and swarm around me now
I have fought them off
And they have come back
I cant find cover as fast as I run
My fists can’t clench and the door is locked
Breathe it in breathe it out
Enjoy the terror that fogs
What am I going to do
The blisters are from the cold
Frozen kisses from spirits troubled
I shake and tremble with gritted teeth
And put my foot forward
I’m falling into the abyss
Soft air holding me as I tumbled around
There is hope in falling on gentle air
A familiar feeling grips
And my breath is crystallizing around me
Somehow there is a light and a familiarity
I shout out and suddenly my feet take hold
A flicker of light from the lighter
A familiar sound touches my mind
This cavern is full of specters festering
Grinning teeth laughs acoustically dripping with blood
And here I stand amongst the night in between myth miracle and life
I await the inevitable and these thieves move in
I can hear the scraping and metal clanking
I can only see glimmers of flickering light
And then
I become a voice in the dark
Mumbling and stumbling on the perfect set of words
To undo this and break the gravity that holds
I look up as I feel claws touching my back
Ice cold breath on my neck
Burning heat on my heart
I think to close my eyes
I then put my arms out
I can feel the crawling
In perfect silence I feel my heart
My soul starts to pound like a bass drum
When they find this place
They will see a demon death pit
And with that I jump into the air
And it holds me up above the seething hordes below
A sword drops from the sky
My eyes light up with intense light
Illuminating the horrific site
And one by one I take vengeance upon the demons
They run from me trying to climb the walls
I turn them towards me look them in the eyes
And run the blade through from neck to floor
With every fallen the air carries me up
They vanish as the day breaks
I am back to where I began
A perfect summer day with sun on my back

Digital

This may just be
The numbing inducing the need
I click I switch I browse I can’t sleep
I see her there on the couch
Passed out with sleep marks
Why does my mind flicker late
Calling upon memories I’ve buried
Monsters rise to rhythms
I have wasted so many
I pull the triggers
I pin the sorrow
I can sleep tomorrow